Hi Lovies!
Since one of my close friends is getting married I was thinking about the whole phenomena of relationship and marriage.. Is it still a good idea to get married with most marriages ending in divorce?
When growing up, all I wanted was to get married just like all of the Disney princesses. But now at the age of 22 and some more life experience, I was wondering.. Do I still want to get married, or is marriage really just a failure waiting to happen?
After doing some research on the internet and some thinking of my own, I came to following “conclusion”.. (please note that this is just my own opinion, I do NOT claim to have the recipe for the perfect marriage)
So here it is: Every day I see people around me ending their long term relationship or getting a divorce. But how does this happen? One moment they seem the perfect couple and the next moment they decide to go separate ways..
Well, I think many people fail to ask themselves why they are getting married and end up marrying for the wrong reasons. Love, of course seems like the best reason. However, it is not the main reason. Yes, it may sound very romantic and in fact it’s the main reason for people to get married, but for a marriage (or relationship) to be successful, both partners must have a strong foundation based on trust, compatibility and communication. Marriage is a breathing process, you need to be aware that there will be peaks and valleys.
So maybe you’re thinking, ‘Oh we don't have anything to worry about, we are definitely a great match!’ .. But the tricky part is that couples may be on the same page when they are getting married, but a few years later, one of them can be on a whole different page. The key is to know how to deal with your relationship when you are both on a different page, or even chapter..
Trust is another aspect of a good marriage. Marriages without trust are marriages that end in divorce. Even if there is the slightest doubt in either of the partners' mind, then there is no trust. Relationships thrive on trust and cannot survive without it.
For me personally it's something I need to work on. In the past I dated a guy that cheated, told lies and was very abusive.. so after this chapter in my life I found it very hard to trust someone new. Over the past 2,5 years I’ve been in a new relationship with a very nice young man, but still I can’t find it in my heart to completely trust him. So when you are in a similar situation, I would suggest to give this some time and really learn how to trust your partner, because getting married without some serious trust in your relationship is a true no-no!
Third, is there communication? Lack of communication can destroy a relationship. When couples fail to communicate they fail to support each other through the good and the bad times. It’s in human nature to share whatever’s on your mind, and when the communication is cut off, couples will find it hard to show affection for one another.
Married people need to communicate all the time. Talking only when times get rough or not talking at all will only hurt the relationship.
So to make a long story short, yes, I still believe in good relationships and marriage, but I also believe that it takes more than just Love! You have to be prepared to do the work that is necessary to keep the romance alive. So before you take the big step and get married, make sure that you trust one another, communicate and are compatibel. Take your time, I will too!
Or you could just.Say.No. ;)
Until Next Time!
xoxo
http://www.dressesonly.be/
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